All The Money In The World

 

All The Money In The World

 

 

     Most of the time, you don't expect to be inspired or completely awestruck on any given day.  You get up every morning, brush your teeth, put your clothes on, and walk out the door for another vanilla day at work.  Being here in Killeen, close to Fort Hood,  has given me a chance to meet the strongest and bravest individuals I know I'll ever meet in life.  When my husband began his career as a firefighter, I would stay up the nights he was on shift and pray for him to come back home safely.  Nearly ten years later; I'm still doing it, but with my daughter now.  "Please take care of daddy. Watch over him and bring him home safely to us in the morning. Amen."

 

     Until I moved here to Killeen and started to really see what life was like for these families, I didn't realize how lucky I have it.  My husband works twenty four hours then he's off for forty eight hours.  To me and my daughter, that twenty four hour stretch is excruciating and we just want daddy home with us.  These military families go without their mommies and daddies for twelve to eighteen months at a time!  Some daddies miss the birth of their sons and daughters, some mommies and daddies miss the first steps, the first words, the first day of school or just being able to watch them grow and to hug them everyday.

 

     The military moms and dads are across the world, fighting for our freedom and are occasionally getting to speak to their loved ones on the phone or web.  No one can know what's it's like for our soldiers over there.  We know they come back changed.  No one can know what it's like for the families who are here without their loved ones.  Not knowing if they're safe tonight or any night.

 

      Some of the strongest women I've ever known have been military wives who somehow take care of everything that needs to be taken care of, be everywhere that all the kids have to be and somehow retain their sanity and give all of their love to their children and to their significant other across the phone or Internet and still find time to support other families and friends in need. 

 

     I met one of these strong military wives one day as I was selling homes for a local builder.  Two women walked into the model home; one was obviously the mother and the other the daughter.  They looked so much alike.  The daughter came in and did not raise her head but looked at the floor.  She looked to be in her late twenties or early thirties.  The mother was definitely the leader and began a conversation with me.  She told me that her daughter and she would like to find two homes.  One for her and her husband and one for their daughter.  They wanted to live next to each other.  They had a very close family. 

 

      I realized after about thirty minutes that the daughter had still not said a word and she couldn't even look at me.  The mother was friendly and told me a lot about what they were looking for  but I could tell there was something else they were holding back. 

 

     So I took them to look at a few homes, the mother said she liked two but never asked the daughter what she liked.  They exchanged a couple of painful glances but that was about it.  I tried to start conversations with the daughter, to break the silence and awkwardness but the mother would interrupt and start on a different topic.  I knew that we had the right homes for them, in the right location and the right price.  The mother gave me their contact information and left with me telling them that I would call them tomorrow.

 

     I sat in my office and just thought about that entire two and half hours of interaction.  Not a single word from the daughter. Maybe she had emotional problems or physical problems.  I didn't want to guess but I knew that I needed another piece of the puzzle.  So after they left, I began to write them a thank you note and the thank you turned into a longer note about how much I enjoyed helping them and how I wanted to make sure they found something perfect for their family because I could tell their daughter meant the world to them.

 

     Two days later, the mother and daughter showed up again in my model, with a baking tin full of brownies.  The daughter was still staring at the floor but I saw that she had the letter I had written them in her hand.  The mother handed me the brownies and said, "We've been a lot of places to look at homes.  This will be a special deal and we feel like we can trust you.  No one else cared to spend the time or to write us a letter.  We'd like to show our appreciation with these brownies and we'd also like to build our homes with you."

 

     She started to tear up a little and handed me the brownies.  I thanked her and we all sat down in my office and ate brownies and drank coffee.  The mother suddenly said, "I don't know when my daughter will want to speak up.  She's been through a terrible experience that we won't get into right now.  But I can tell you what she would like in her new home until she feels up to talking."

 

     I still had no idea what was going on, but I knew this sweet girl had gone through some sort of trauma.  She still had not looked me in the eye or even mumbled a word.  At the moment, she sat eating her brownie and while her mom talked, she paused and stared ahead of her. 

 

     Suddenly the daughter put her brownie down, without looking up and without moving she said, "Thank you for not asking me to talk.  Thank you for not asking what was wrong with me or why I'm so quiet.  Thank you for your letter."

 

     Then she looked me right in the eyes with tears rolling down her cheeks and said, "My husband was suffering from post traumatic stress disorder in Iraq and he killed himself.  He was my soul mate.  He was my life.  I wasn't there for him when he needed me.  I couldn't help him when he needed help.  I was here; safe.  He was there; sad and suffering.  I don't have a husband.  I won't ever get to have his children."

 

     At this, she stopped and lost control.  The mother put her arm around her daughter as if to say, "That's enough." But the daughter wanted...needed to go on. 

 

     With anger this time she said, "The only reason I can buy this house is because my husband killed himself!  I have to use the money I got from his death!  I would give back every penny and everything I have to have him back today!" She screamed.  "This house will always remind me that he will not be here to share it with me." And with those final words, she broke down and cried a long overdue cry that sounded like relief and at the same time absolute despair. 

 

     We all sat together and cried and prayed.  I helped build two houses for these unbelievably strong women.  There were happy days and there were sad days.  But family sticks together and it's love knows no bounds.  That was several years ago and they still live next to each other in the same homes I sold them.  Only now, the daughter has found a husband and there's a beautiful baby who lights up their home.  It's not the family that she had originally planned; but it's a wonderful sight for me to see her running in her front yard, chasing her little toddler.  Happy and full of love again. 

 

     If you ever need a moment to put things in perspective when you wake up every morning thinking about how bad your day is...be thankful for your family, for undying love, for a God who takes care of us even in the bleakest and darkest of days and for the fact that you are alive.  Wherever you are, when you see a soldier, thank them; buy their lunch or just shake their hand.  They deserve happiness and respect. The reason we can get up in the morning, go to work, be free and be happy and safe is because they are protecting us. There are thousands of families who would gladly give everything they have to get their loved ones back who have given their lives for our freedom.  Thank you soldiers and military.  Army strong.

    

     

The Deadly Dung Beetle

The Deadly Dung Beetle

 

                I nearly died yesterday.  I can’t remember when I’ve been more scared!  I can’t believe that I made it to the office safely without killing myself and everyone around me.  Here is how I nearly died yesterday.

                It was a typical day for real estate; I was meeting a home inspector at a home in downtown Killeen.  It is a beautiful property with gorgeous trees that are so old and tall.  Nearly the entire yard is shaded.  It’s lovely.  So when I was standing in the driveway under a massive oak tree talking with the inspector about what he felt were the main issues with the house, the inspector said the main thing was that there was a massive hornets’ nest in the breaker box and they got very angry with him when he opened it.  He was not stung but he did bother them a bit. 

                I am extremely allergic to hornets, wasps and bees and mainly just hate them in general.  I got the chills when he told me and I could just imagine them stalking me at that very moment!  We were still discussing the hornets when something big thudded on my right shoulder and I screamed and nearly jumped into the inspectors arms.  (That would’ve been really bad since he was half my size.)

                I looked on my shoulder. Nothing.  I looked all around me where whatever it was could’ve fallen onto the ground after hitting my shoulder. Nothing.  I thought it must’ve been a big acorn that fell from the tree and I didn’t see where it went.  The inspector said, “I hope it’s not a hornet!” and laughed.  We shook hands, said our goodbyes and I walked back down the driveway, across the street and into my car.

                I had about a 10 minute drive down the main drag in Killeen until I was back at the office.  Suddenly, the top of my head started to itch.  So I scratched it.  I didn’t think anything of it.  Then…the top of my head started to really itch and I could tell that something BIG was in my hair on the top of my head.  Just like in a horror movie, everything turned into slow motion!  I slowly looked at the top of my head in the rear view mirror and saw a giant orange and black bug moving around in my hair!

                Orange and black!  Orange and black!  Oh my God!  It’s a hornet!  A hornet!  A hornet is my hair, in my car!  I started to scream at the top of my lungs and weirdly just screamed the word, “Hornet!!” over and over again.  I was in shock.  Then it started to get mad and buzz trying to get loose from my hair! 

                Here are the thoughts that went through my head:

1.        I can’t touch it!  It’ll get mad and sting me! 

2.       It’ll get mad and sting my head over and over again because it’s stuck!

3.       It’ll get loose and fly around all pissed off and sting me while I’m driving and I’ll wreck.

4.       If I leave it alone, it’ll make its way down to my face and sting my face!

5.       Then it’ll get pissed and fly around the car, sting me again and cause me to wreck the car.

I was panicking!  So…the only rational thing I could think of was to roll the window down, stick my head out of the car as far as I could and scream, “Get out!!! Get out!! Get out!!” while crying uncontrollably and driving down the main street in Killeen!

At this point, people in the cars around me were staring and wondering what in the world was going on.  I was screaming with my head out the window and praying for God to get this hornet out of my hair.

I pulled my head back into the car after a couple of minutes and in movie slow motion again, looked into the rear view mirror to see if it had flown out.  There it was.  And now… it was tangled even worse in my hair and was even more pissed than before and was buzzing like crazy trying to break free from my hair!  I started to scream and cry uncontrollably but didn’t stick my head out of the car this time but people were still looking at me because my window was down and they could hear me screaming and asking God to get this hornet out of my hair!  I was still screaming and crying, “Get out!  Get out!”

As I approached my office, I slowly picked up the phone and called my partner, CJ.  He answered calmly of course, and then I screamed, “CJ!!  There’s a hornet in my hair!  Oh my god there’s a hornet in my hair!  Meet me in the parking lot now and get it out!!”

CJ said calmly, “Do what?”

“There’s a hornet in my hair!  There’s a hornet in my hair!  Just get out in the parking lot now and get it out!  Now!  Now!  Now!”  And I hung up the phone, careened into the parking lot, threw the car into park, jumped out of the car and bent over in front of CJ who was already in the parking lot ready to help. 

I was screaming at him, “Get it out! Get it out! Get it out!”

He kept saying he didn’t see it and then it buzzed and he said, “Here it is.” And he flipped out a giant bug that landed on the parking lot.  It was an enormous dung beetle. 

CJ pointed at it, looked at me, said, “Well, there you go.”  He turned around and slowly walked back into the office leaving me on my knees in the parking lot still in shock, heaving and weak from the adrenaline that had been pumping through my body.  I looked at that dung beetle and was so glad it wasn’t a hornet but the dung beetle is just as scary and gross. 

Everyone in the neighboring offices and businesses were staring and wondering what in the heck was going on with the screaming idiot that just pulled a giant beetle out of her hair and is now heavily breathing and crying on her knees in the parking lot alone. 

I took a picture of the dung beetle to remember the bug that nearly killed me.  I can’t believe I was able to drive that long, in panic mode, screaming with my head sticking out the window!  My head keeps itching now and everyone keeps saying that it probably laid eggs in my hair.  If so, I’ll write a follow up chapter when the eggs hatch and I try to drive back to the office and have CJ kill the hatchlings.  Hands down; scariest ten minute drive ever.  I hate bugs.

 

Here it is.  The Dung Beetle that nearly killed me.  I hope he died a horrible death being dismembered by a ravenous bird.  Uggh.

 

Written by:

Myka Allen-Johnson

Owner and Realtor of StarPointe Realty

forsalebymyka@yahoo.com

Russian Mail Order Bride, Anyone?

 

 

Russian Mail Order Bride, Anyone?

She's worth 15 Million!

           

            This is one of the most unbelievable stories that I have to tell.  I’ve never had anyone rival the likes of a girl named Ashley.  She’s only the fourth person that I’ve ever talked to that has actually gotten a million dollar inheritance, won the lottery or come into millions from a lawsuit.  The latter is what we will be talking about in this story.  Ashley was a 23 year old girl with the worst set of teeth I’ve ever seen in my whole life.  And I’ve traveled a lot to other southern states; so that’s saying a lot!  I hate to be mean but I really need to paint the picture for you.  It was extremely unfortunate.

 

            Ashley came to visit with me one afternoon with her new fiancé.  She was a very happy girl which was sort of unnerving considering that each smile rattled your soul and gave you the chills a little.  She was normal looking enough but obviously pregnant.  Immediately she took to me, telling me her name and that she and her fiancé were expecting a baby girl.  She loved my name and asked if it would be okay if they used it.  Which, I thought was a little strange after our first meeting but okay.  So we got past the pleasantries and we sat down in my office for the most revealing and unbelievable story I’ve ever heard.  Here are all of the things that Ashley told me during this initial meeting:

 

1.      I was in a car wreck where I was almost killed last year.

2.      In that car wreck, I hit the steering wheel and lost all of my teeth.

(This made me feel especially badly for judging, but as you will read on, it soon passes.)

3.      I was pregnant during that car wreck and lost the baby.

4.      Because of how injured I was, I was awarded $15 million dollars in a court case.

5.      I’m about to receive $9 million of those dollars in the next month.

6.      I have two other children from another marriage.

7.      My ex-husband stole my other two children and I don’t know where they are.  We’re currently hunting him down so I can get my children back.

8.      I almost found them when I went to visit his parent’s house in Alabama and I accidentally lost control of my car and rammed it through his house.  During that incident, he got away and took the kids with him and I haven’t seen him since. 

9.      I’m just lucky to be here because my mom is in the Russian Mafia.  She’s wanted in the United States for money laundering.

10.  My mom wanted me to have a better life than she could provide for me in Russia so she sold me as a Russian mail order bride to an American business man when I was 16. 

11.  I stayed married to him until I was 19.  He was really nice and set me up with some money. 

12.  Then I met my ex-husband and we had two kids together.  He went crazy and took my kids away from me.

13.  We want to buy two houses from you.  One for me and my fiancé and one for my mom to live in when she comes down from Russia.  (Yes. The one that is wanted in the United States for Russian Mafia money laundering.)

14.  I hope that my current baby is okay, because I fell on my stomach at the airshow today.

15.  Oh, these bruises on my upper arm?  (accusing glance at fiancé) I fell on a boat dock.

 

            After all that, it was such an unbelievable story that I had to believe it. Who could make anything like that up? 

 

So, we wrote up two contracts for two houses that she was going to buy from me.  In the next weeks, she brought me bank account information that showed she was ready for the $9 million to go into it and with routing information from the bank to our company for the cost of the home.  Everything as crazy as it sounds, seemed like it was falling into place and it was one of the easiest sales I’ve ever made.  Although, easy sales tend to be too good to be true.  A little foreshadowing, maybe?

 

            The closing date came and went for Miss Ashley. She came in and said that her lawyer assured her that the money would come in.  It was just caught up in the system.  So we set another close date.  That close date came and went.

 

            Then she gave birth to a new baby girl.  The reason that I know is because I got a phone call one afternoon and a breathless, Ashley was on the phone and she wasn’t making any sense.  She sounded confused.  Through shallow breaths, she said, “I had.... the.... baby!”

 

             I said, “Great! When did you have it?”    

 

            “About 15...... minutes ago. (Heavy breathing.)  They’re wheeling me ......back into my..... room.” She wheezed out.

 

            “What?  What are you doing calling me?  You need to rest!” I said.  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing but I actually heard the doctors and nurses talking to her as she was talking to me on the phone.

 

            “I snuck.... my phone into the labor room..... so I could call you..... as soon as I had her." She giggled maniacally.  "I named her after you.  (Big deep breath.)  I named her... Myka.” She said proudly.

 

            I was really starting to feel weird.  I didn’t want to encourage this strange and unnatural relationship anymore.  I barely know this person and she’s calling me while she’s being wheeled back into her room after child birth and naming her daughter after me?  Oh God!  This is not happening!

 

             I didn’t know what to say except.  “Wow.  Thank you.  Congratulations.  You need to rest.  I’ll talk to you later.” I said.

 

            She had desperation in her voice when she said, “Okay.  Will you call me later?”

 

            Whoa.  This is really headed down the wrong way.  “You just rest okay?” I said.

 

            After that, I didn’t hear from her for about two weeks and I had to cancel her sales contracts because she wouldn’t answer any of my calls or any of the calls from the company I was working for as well.  One night, I was working late at the office and got a strange call from a man who said he was a lawyer that was representing Ashley in a current custody hearing.  I checked his credentials and looked up his company on the internet and he was on the up and up.  Unbelievably, here is what he told me!

 

1. She was never in any car wreck.
2. Since there was no car wreck, there was no loss of teeth.  She’s always had an unfortunate dental situation!
3. Again, since there was no car wreck, there was no baby that was lost.  However, she had been pregnant before and tried to lose it herself by throwing herself down stairs and falling.
4. There is no $15 million dollars that will be awarded to her.  In fact, there is a court case open right now but it’s against her.
5. There was no $9 million dollars that was going to be immediately awarded to her.
6. She doesn’t have two other children, she has five!
7. Her ex-husband didn’t take her children from her, a court named her an indecent parent and awarded the kids to the father.
8. When she visited her ex-husbands house in Alabama, she didn’t accidentally lose control of her car; she ran it through the living room, backed out and got away from the police.
9. Her mom is not in the Russian Mafia.  She’s never even been to Russia or of Russian decent.  Her mom is from Alabama and has never been out of the state.
10. Obviously if the above is true then she was not a mail order bride.  In fact, Ashley was born and raised in Alabama.
11. She’s only been married once.  The older business man is a complete figment of her imagination.
12. Again, her ex-husband took her kids away from her for being an indecent parent and a court of law found her legally incompetent.
13. Obviously, she did not buy a house from me.  Turns out she does not have a dollar to her name.  She attached herself to her newest fiancé who does not know her past.
14. She did fall on her stomach at the airshow, but she had a history of trying to lose her babies.
15. The bruises on her arm were self inflicted.  Since she was 16, she’s always thrown herself down stairs, fallen down and twisted her arms to make bruises and blames other people for the attention.

 

            You can imagine my shock and horror.  I was so mad at myself for believing all of those stories.  I felt like the biggest idiot!  It was all so crazy that I didn’t think anyone could make up anything as unreal as that.  To top all of this off, the reason that the lawyer called me is because Ashley had submitted into evidence, a letter “from me,” stating that I was Ashley's employer.  It said that Ashley had been cleaning my house for a year and that I was paying her cash and that was how she was going to support her new baby.  The lawyer was trying to subpoena me to court to prove that Ashley had a job but I shot that lie down real quick.  That’s when he started to ask me questions and let me know the real truth. 

 

            I never heard from Ashley again but I assume her life is not what she imagined it would be.  I wish her the best, but I’ll never be able to forgive myself for being that gullible.  I have never since met anyone that was as sincerely and believably crazy as Ashley.  One thing I never understood is that if I was going to make up a bunch of crap about myself, I’d make it really good!  Not a Russian mail order bride!  What?  Come on!

 

        

Written by:

 

Myka Allen-Johnson

Owner and Realtor of StarPointe Realty

forsalebymyka@yahoo.com

 

 

Partner Parables

Partner Parables

 

                I’ve had many sales partners and trained sales agents over the years and I’ve loved them all dearly.  They were all so different in their own special ways and I’ve never forgotten all the stories that have made me laugh uncontrollably.  Here’s a collection of short stories about my beloved partners and sales agents over the years:

 

                A Blast of a First Day

                It is my first day at my new neighborhood and also my first official day with a particularly large company and I meet my new partner.  She’s very pretty and outgoing and has a skirt on with some cute little heels.  As she’s showing me around the model homes, we get to the option and color selection room upstairs and she says, “Oh.  This is really important.  Watch.  Listen.”

                Then she grabs her dress, pulls it up to her waist, throws her foot in the air, jumps up and farts so loud that it scares me and I jump. 

                “So.  Any questions about the colors and options?” she says without even smiling or missing a beat. 

                “You just jump farted.  I don’t even know you.” I said. 

                “Oh that.  Yep.  Get used to it.”

                “I think I love you.” I said.  And we lived happily ever after.

 

First Day Jitters

Several years later, I was working for a different company and a new girl had her first day as a new homes consultant.  She said that she was a nervous person and that she took an extra dose of her anti-anxiety pill that morning.  I was thinking that this wasn’t a very good start but began to train her anyway. 

I could tell she was very nervous because she kept running to the bathroom.  She went to the bathroom about 10 times in the matter of the first hour.  She just kept saying how nervous she was.  I told her it would be okay, that I used to be a teacher and I’ve been a sales trainer, I’m very patient and will help her through this.  She tentatively agreed and kept working on the computer.  Every once in a while, I would smell something foul and pretended not to smell it so her nerves wouldn’t get any worse than they were.

At this instant, she sprang up from her chair, looked at me with tears in her eyes and cried, “I’m sorry!”

“For what?” I said. 

“I thought that I just had to toot and I just crapped my pants big time!” and she started crying profusely.

I didn’t know what to say and just sat there with my jaw on the floor.  She didn’t move but the smell suddenly hit me and I yelled, “Oh God!  You’re going to have to go home I think.”

“Yeah.  It’s a big one. It’s diarrhea. And it’s going down my pants leg.” She bellowed and wailed in embarrassment.

“Go home! I won’t tell.  Change clothes and come back.”

So she walked slowly to her car with a stiff legged walk of shame and we were partners for a year and I’ve never told a soul until now.

 

Politically Incorrect

Since I had teaching, sales training and sales management experience, I was called on to train most all of the new sales people.  Some were young and soaked everything in and were excited to learn and some were older, set in their ways and said things that made you want to crawl under a rock. 

The latter is the case of this story.  One gentleman that I was training was on his fourth day and he was starting to get the hang of things by watching me greet customers and answer any questions about the neighborhood that people might have.  On this day, I was writing a contract with another customer and I let the newbie greet people that came in.  There is no better practice than to just do it!

I’m listening to the newbie greet a customer when they asked about the racial makeup of the community.  Oh no!  We haven’t gone over a prepared response for that yet!  Oh God!  I jumped up to intervene but not quick enough.  Now, my newbie has no issues with any race, but he has an issue with nervously saying things that he shouldn’t and not remembering how or why he said it.  I call it “information vomiting with no recall”. 

To the customer’s question of racial makeup for the community, my newbie, obviously rattled and nervous spouts off, “Well… I can tell you immigration isn’t staking out THIS neighborhood!”

Oh god!  It was so painful.  I said, “I’m sorry.  What he meant to say is that we’re a beautifully diverse neighborhood and we urge you to spend time in the neighborhood to find a home and atmosphere that works for you and your family.”

The newbie said, “Yeah.  That’s what I said.”

 

 

Realistic Portrayal of Model Homes

I trained a company’s sales team with a sales agent who had serious issues with drinking.  I never said anything because I knew that it was so bad, that basically anyone could see it any time.  Realtors began complaining that he was drunk and just handed them a key and went back to sleep at his desk.  One realtor even told a story that he took them out to see a home, got out of the car, barfed on the street, wiped his mouth with his shirt and staggered into an inventory home to show them.  She was mortified!

His last day of work, he had come in completely drunk.  He opened the door to the model and passed out on the bed in the master bedroom.  He probably would have gotten away with it except the front door was open and a customer came in, tried to wake him, called 911 and the ambulance drove him to the hospital where he was treated for alcohol poisoning. 

When asked about the ordeal, the customer said, “At first I just thought that it was some sort of new thing that showed you how real people can live in the models.  I just thought he was acting.  Then I got scared because I thought he was dead.”

 

Super Partner Strength

When you’re a woman in real estate, you’re always on edge when you’re alone in an office with a stranger.  This particular day, my partner and I were both working and a strange man walked in and started talking to Leslie, my partner.  I immediately got a bad feeling when the hairs on my neck and arms stood on end.  The questions he was asking seemed rehearsed.  He asked to see the model home.

Leslie took him down the walk to see the model home.  Another customer came in and I was busy for a little while with them and realized after they left that it had been a very long time and Leslie still wasn’t back.  I instantly felt scared and knew I was about to walk in on a bad scene.  Every hair on my body was standing up as I opened the front door.  I was right. 

They were both at the top of the stairs and Leslie was crying and pleading with the large man to let her go and she was writhing but couldn’t shake his grip. Something went through me that I’ve never felt before and I instantly was filled with unshakable bravery and strength and screamed, “Hey (bad word here)! Let go of her!”

The huge stranger was so transfixed by Leslie that he didn’t even hear me and didn’t see me charging up the stairs towards him.  Leslie was about to pass out from fear and he was holding her up against him.  I pushed through them and broke up his grip on her and Leslie fell to the ground crying.  I burned a hole through his retinas and screamed, “Get out!”

What looked back at me was pure evil and he smiled a sinister smile and started to move towards me and I pushed him down the stairs. He fell down about six or seven stairs when he grabbed the rail and steadied himself and smiled again.  I came after him and pushed him down the final flight and when he got up at the bottom of the stairs it was like he had woken up from a dream or possibly possessed. 

He looked at me like he’d never seen me before and said, “What the hell are you doing?  What’s wrong with you?” He dusted himself off, stood up and said, “Ya’ll are crazy.”  Then he left.

Immediately, the super human strength left and I felt extremely weak and didn’t know if I could stay upright.  I didn’t know if I could make it up the stairs to check on Leslie or not.  Somehow, I pulled myself up and called out to her and she said she was okay.  I made it to the top of the stairs and hugged her as we both sat on the ground and cried; both weak from fear.  She said, “Thank you. I was so scared.  I don’t know what he would have done to me.”

“That’s what partners do.” I said.  “We watch out for each other’s backs.”

I had never seen that guy before and thankfully I never saw him again.  I don’t know what came over me that day but I think I was possessed too.   But definitely not with the same spirit he was possessed with.  A spirit that was strong enough to ward off pure evil.

All Shook Up At The King's House

All Shook Up At The King’s House

 

           

            When I was growing up, the only music I was allowed to listen to was Disney records, Tennessee Ernie Ford, Hank Williams Senior, The Statler Brothers and Elvis Presley Gospel.  My father is a Baptist preacher and was pretty strict about what we listened to.  I remember, I saved up all my money one year and went to the mall and bought Michael Jackson’s Thriller on cassette tape.  It was awesome!  One afternoon my dad snapped it in half and stomped on it like it was a vile and filthy stinging bug and said, “He's not going to sing a song in my house!”

 

            Needless to say, I learned how to sing from the classic greats!  If you ask anyone that knows me in this town who my favorite singer of all time is, they’ll tell you without hesitation, Elvis Presley!  When I was finishing up with college I started singing in bands and sang professionally for about six years.  Every band I was in, we did some sort of tribute to Elvis at the end of the night.  No one else ever put as much heart and soul into music as he did.  I still get the chills when I hear his songs. 

 

            Elvis Presley used to live in Killeen, Texas.  Yes.  You heard that right.  How come you didn’t know this?  It’s sad I know.  Everyone should know this!  We should still have signs everywhere in Killeen!  There used to be a sign up in Killeen a long time ago before you came into town that said, “Elvis lived here.  So can you.”

 

            I love that!  Where did it go?  I can’t say.  But…when a local realtor came into my office where I was selling homes at the lake and told me that the house he used to live in was available…I nearly hit the ceiling!

 

            It took me all of 30 seconds to find out where it was and run over there to look at it.  It was a beautiful single story home on a half-acre with gorgeous trees that shaded the whole lot.  The house sat back from the street with a big covered front porch.  I could just imagine Elvis’s pink Cadillac sitting in the driveway and people standing in the street just to catch a glimpse of him. 

 

            The house was in really good shape and a lot of the same fixtures were there.  It was rumored that he had put in pink toilets.  Those were not there of course.  I had remembered a photo of Elvis taken in front of the fireplace of the house he stayed in while he was in basic training on Fort Hood.  This is it!  I was standing in the exact same place Elvis stood for that photo!  I was in heaven and enchanted. 

 

            I called my husband and told him about it and said I wanted to buy it.  He didn’t argue with me because he knew how much I loved Elvis.  Our entire game room and half the house was covered in Elvis memorabilia.  I put in an offer on the house that day! 

 

            I couldn’t believe that this house hadn’t been memorialized!  Why doesn’t anyone know that Elvis lived here?  I started to put a plan in place to turn it into a museum and a place with all the photos and memorabilia from when Elvis was in the army.  The offer was accepted and a few weeks later, I owned the home that Elvis lived in while he was in basic training in 1958.  I began to decorate and friends emerged and started to help make it a beautifully staged home full of Elvis army memories.  My plan was to decorate it and try to sell it to someone with a lot of money who could turn it into something wonderful like it deserved to be! 

 

            I hired a company out of Tennessee that had just auctioned off a home that Elvis had lived in prior to his move to Killeen.  That home appraised at around $80,000 and sold for nearly a million on Ebay.  The company was very excited to get the house and start marketing.  We put it on Ebay and the results weren’t as good as what we had hoped.  We had a few celebrities that bid. We had bids up to our “break even” point the day the auction ended and would’ve lost money to close on it.  So we decided to put it up again at a later date. 

 

            During this down time, I decided to have a party at the Elvis house.  I invited about 25 of my closest girl friends to spend the night there.  We had a blast!  Four or five different people were taking pictures, including me, that night when we had a realization.  In every picture that every person was taking with different cameras, there were orbs.  Anywhere from one to eighteen.  So we began taking more and more pictures with all the different cameras at different parts of the house. 

 

            We ended up spooking ourselves out so badly that only five girls ended up spending the night.  When we finally turned out the lights, huddled together in our sleeping bags on the floor and got quiet, things got even weirder.  Now, if you don’t believe in the paranormal, you can choose to read this and dismiss it.  But if you do believe in the paranormal, this was one of the creepiest experiences ever! 

 

            One of my friends suddenly yelled out, “What?!” 

 

            I said, “What is it?”

 

            She said, “One of ya’ll keeps whispering my name! Stop!”

 

            None of us had done it.  We were all so truly freaked out that out of respect for the other girls; we weren’t doing anything extra to scare each other that night.  Right after that, another girl jumps up and screams, “Turn on the light!”

 

            Someone turned on the light and she was really upset and said that she had watched an orb float through the room into the kitchen.  Only when it went around the corner did she have the breath or guts to say anything. 

 

            We talked about it for a while until we thought we were okay to go back to sleep.  I had just gone back to sleep when I woke up to a weird pressure on me.   I felt the sleeping bag pulling on one side and then I heard the zipper.  I was frozen!  My friend was dead asleep next to me and there was no one on my right.  The zipper kept going and it unzipped about five or six inches before I screamed and wiggled out of the sleeping bag.  It had stopped and my sleeping bag lay motionless.  But that was it.  We didn’t sleep another wink that night. 

 

            We started to zoom in on the photos that we had taken and saw that the larger orbs had what looked like faces in them.  One orb even had a gentleman with a top hat on and a frilly collar.  In one picture, there was a woman holding a baby.  You could see her arm perfectly with a pearl bracelet on and she was holding a swaddled baby.  You couldn’t see the baby’s face, but you could see her face.  It was terrifying!  After we had seen this photo with the lady with the pearl bracelet, we started finding these little pearls in every room of the house. 

 

            When morning came, we couldn’t get out of there fast enough.  I never went back into the house alone, again.  I was really creeped out. I don't know if any of these events had anything to do with Elvis but to make things even weirder, Uri Gellar, the famous mentalist out of the UK, had expressed an interest in buying the home.  He’s most famous for bending spoons with his mind.  His interest faded and it didn’t work out. 

 

            I ended up owning the home for two years and I let anyone who was a fan go in and check out all the articles, photos and memorabilia I had there.   I became pregnant with our precious daughter and had a very rough pregnancy and nearly died after I gave birth.  We had to let the house go and a very nice couple bought it who are also Elvis Presley fans.  It tore me up inside to let it go.  I wanted to be able to make sure that anyone who lived or came to Killeen would know that a music legend once lived here for a year and went to basic training at Fort Hood. 

 

I learned of so many beautiful and interesting stories from people who had met him while he lived here.  He was a kind man, kissed a lot of women who still live here, got clotheslined in a neighbor’s backyard running from their dog while he was dodging crazed teens, and bitten by a dog that was in a parade with a sign around his neck that said, “I bit Elvis.” He would just show up at bars and restaurants and would sing songs for them all night. There were many superstars that stayed there at the house and spent nights around the piano singing and laughing

 

Very recently, I met an older gentleman and his wife at an open house I was holding in Killeen.  They said they had owned their home here since the fifties and were thinking that they needed a change, finally.

 

 I asked them, “Well, I guess you got to see Elvis.  He was here in 1958.”

 

The wife instantly changed expressions to a forlorn look and held her gaze in her husband’s eyes.  He began to tear up. She talked for him because he couldn’t talk.  He was completely overcome with emotion.  She said, “My husband was Elvis’s staff Sargent in the army.  They became very close friends.”

 

I told her how I had bought the home that Elvis had lived in and how much it had meant to me.  We were all crying at this point when finally, the husband spoke. 

 

            He said, “Elvis was a good boy.  He was dealing with things that no boy his age should have had to deal with.  We talked a lot.  He was my friend.  When he was through with basic training here at Fort Hood, he was assigned to Germany.  I went with him in the same group.  He invited me up to his house that he had rented in Germany and I’ll never forget what he said.  We were standing on a balcony one night overlooking a party at his house and he looked at me with so much sadness and with a wavering voice he said, “I don’t know who any of these people are.  Except you.  Thank you.”

 

            As he finished his story, his eyes were full of tears and he was lost in a world that was still playing out in front of him.  As I write this and remember the look on his face, I know exactly what type of person Elvis was and just how he affected everyone that he was in contact with.  He died three years after I was born, yet I have been enamored with him since I was able to talk.  I would’ve given anything to have met him, to have seen him sing or smile.  At least for a little while, I owned something that was special to him, where he spent his family time.  And that is as close as I’ll come.  That’s enough.  Long live the King.

 

 

The first photo is of Elvis in front of the fireplace in 1958.  The second is the fireplace today.

 

 

The Near Death Of A Saleswoman

The Near Death of a Sales Woman

            After I had my precious daughter, I seemed to put on a few extra pounds that were nagging at me every time I looked in the mirror.  So I decided to go visit the local “fat doctor” (a doctor who prescribes medication to lose weight for lazy people who don’t want to exercise) to get a dose of metabolism.  It’s basically legalized speed.  I had been taking these for a while, feeling great and had lost about ten pounds already.  I was however, feeling increasingly anxious and had felt my heart do some very strange things.  I shrugged it off as my boosted metabolism jump starting my heart.  (I know, it sounds stupid now that I just said it.)  All of this to preface the day that I almost died and the not so caring realtor who was convinced I was fine.  She’s NOT a doctor might I add.

            Whether it’s global warming, depleted ozone or just Texas, it was hot in the summer of 2009.  We had two straight months with temperatures over the one hundred degree point.  With times as rough in the new homes industry as they have been, builders were cutting corners every where they could.  One of those was not to run the air conditioners in the homes that were currently available (which actually detracted to the sale because people didn’t even want to go inside these houses that were hotter inside than it was outside!).  So when a realtor that I have known a while drove up with customers following her, it was a bittersweet feeling.  I wanted to sell a home but I did not want to leave the air conditioned office.  So I jumped into the car with her, let’s say her name was Claire.  Claire and I exchanged pleasantries and we set up a plan to see about four different homes that were available. 

            As Claire and I got out of the car, something started to not feel right with me.  I introduced myself to the customers and we walked up to the house.  As I was putting the key in the door, I felt my heart do something strange and I again brushed it aside as boosted metabolism.  We walked inside of the three thousand square foot baker’s oven where it was one hundred degrees downstairs and as we were heading upstairs the heat was like a wall hitting us.  Everyone was bent over and hurrying through the house to see it as fast as possible in order to get out as fast as possible. By the time I made it up the stairs, everything started to tunnel out on me.  My hands started to tingle, I was light headed, I couldn’t see well and my heart was racing as beads of sweat ran down my face.  I turned to Claire and said, “There’s something really wrong with me.  I don’t feel right.”

            She said, “It’s just hot in here.  We need to get outside and you’ll feel better.”

            So I carefully walked down the stairs afraid that I was going to pass out any minute.  I walked outside and sat down in Claire’s car while she remained outside talking to her clients.  I leaned the seat down and I knew that I was dying at that point.  I’ve never felt anything like what I had felt that day.  As I laid back, everything turned black on me and I passed out for a few moments.  When I came to, I called my husband, who is a Firefighter and an Emergency Medical Technician, and told him what I was feeling.  I was scared to death, crying, sweating, could barely see and could barely form words. 

            My husband said, “You need to get back to the office and relax.  If you still feel the same call someone.” 

            I told him, “I think this is really serious.  I’m with a realtor and I’ve got to get to a hospital.”

            He could hear how scared I was and said, “Well, tell Claire to take you back to the office and see how you feel after you’ve sat in the air conditioning for a while.”

            So, here’s where things get ridiculous.  I’ll tell it word for word as it happened.  I really want you to feel like you were there.

            “Claire.” I said, panting her name out as I leaned back in her car seat, fanning my face that was milky white and covered in sweat.  “Something is wrong. I need you to take me back to the office.” I said with my eyes closed because for some reason I couldn’t see very well and it scared me to open my eyes.

            “Oh Myka, you’ll be fine.  You’re just hot.  I feel like I’m going to die right now too.  Now, where is the other home that you’re going to show us today?” she asked as if she didn’t see the disgusting, sweaty, dying sales person in the passenger seat.

            “I’m serious Claire.  I have never felt like this before and I need to go back to the office.”  I said, barely getting the sentence out because I was drifting in and out of consciousness.  At this point, I was completely laid down in her car, I was shaking uncontrollably, sweating profusely, couldn’t open my eyes, and could barely put words together.

            “So is it up here on the same street or do I need to take a right turn?  What’s the price on this next house anyway?” she asked.

            I couldn’t believe this!  Could someone be this cold hearted or desperate to get a sale?  I started to really cry because I knew I was probably going to die in Claire’s car and I wouldn’t ever get the chance or the strength to strangle her to death.  I mustered all of my strength and yelled, “Claire!  Take me back to the office!  I am dying and I need an ambulance.”

            “Okay, but I still think you’re just hot.  Let me tell my customers what we’re going to do.  They’re going to be mad that they have to follow me back to the office only to backtrack to this next house.” She stated, obviously irritated, while she was rolling down the window. 

            “Hey guys, Myka is sick so I’m going to drop her off at the office real quick.  Follow me and then we’ll go look at that other house.  Myka?” she looked at me and asked me again, “Where is the next house?”

            “D_____t, Claire!  Take me back to the office!” I was sobbing uncontrollably because I was scared. 

            “Okay.  Let’s go.” She said. 

            “Finally!” I thought to myself.  I was fanning myself with the only thing that I had and that was the list of available homes that I had brought with me to make sure we were going to the right houses.  We finally made it to the model and Claire says….oh you’ll never believe this:

           

            “Is it okay if I drop you off at the corner, I want to make sure my customers don’t get mad about backtracking?”

            I was just so glad to be at the model home that I didn’t care where she dropped me off.  However, I wasn’t sure how I was going to get out of the car or walk or more than likely crawl back into my office.  It literally took me two minutes to lift myself up out of the car without passing out.  Every time I moved, everything went black again.  During these two minutes I was fanning myself with the available homes list and that was keeping me from completely passing out from the heat.  Claire was sighing with frustration at how long it was taking me to get out of the car and then in a final act of unbelievable uncaring, she said, “Oh and Myka? I’m going to need that available homes sheet you’re using.” 

            It was at that moment that I vowed to punch Claire if I ever lived past this day.  So I handed her my only lifeline, my fan, and shakily stood on the street corner with my eyes barely open.  She closed the door for me and sped away making sure that she didn’t see that I made it to the front door okay.  I was talking to myself and trying to put one foot in front of the other. I knew that if I went down on my knees, I’d never get up and I wanted to live to see me put the hurt on Claire! 

            As I walked to the front door, I got out my cell phone and told my construction manager to come over here, that I was sick and needed help.  He was there in less than a minute.  Finally, someone who cares!  I sat in my office for a while, trying to get a grip on reality but it was getting worse.  My construction manager called the ambulance.

            When the emergency crew got there, I was still on the edge.  They took my vitals and I knew I was in trouble when one of the technicians said, “Holy crap, look at this!”  My heart rate was 214 beats per minute with so many irregular beats that they couldn’t believe it.  They immediately strapped me to the gurney and put me in the ambulance.  While I was in the ambulance, one of the firefighters said, “Now don’t be scared, but this is usually fatal if we can’t get your heart rate down.  You’re about to have heart failure.”

            “Did he just say, ‘don’t be scared, but this is usually fatal?’” I asked myself.  So I just started to pray.  I made promises to God that I still keep today and will always keep and strangely enough I was calmed by my prayer and my heart rate started to drop.  Just as they were warming up the paddles to jump start my heart when it failed, I began to get better.  If you don’t believe; there IS power in prayer.

            Meanwhile, back at the model….Claire had come back with her customers and walked right past the ambulance and up to the front door where one of my co-workers was standing and she said, “Is that Myka in there?”

            “Yes.” He said in a very concerned voice.  “It’s pretty serious.”

           

            “Oh my god!” she said pissed off.  “Does this mean that the model will be closed for the rest of the day and no one will be here to help me?”

            My co-worker couldn’t believe what he just heard and in an incredulous tone said, “Yes. That’s what that means.” and walked off. 

            Obviously I didn’t die.  I lived to write this book.  It turns out that the diet pills had built up in my system and had caused enough heart damage that I was really in trouble.  I stayed at the hospital until my heart rate went down but I was left with an irregular heartbeat that they said would not kill me but was not great, either.  I’m fine and have not had another near death experience since that day.  I have not seen Claire since that day either and I have thought long and hard about what I would say to her and I still don’t have it planned out, but I think it will start with a punch to the face and then I’ll drop her of on a street corner somewhere far, far way and ask her if this will be okay for her to walk home from here.  Is that wrong?