Stranger Than Fiction

I'm so honored that Meg White of Realtor Magazine would review my book, Tales From Sales!  Click on the link to view her review!  I'm on cloud 9! Thank you, Meg!

Stranger Than Fiction

How To Change a Work-A-Holic Realtor

                                           How To Change a Work-A-Holic Realtor
                                           (It Includes Thai Food and an Ambulance)

     Last Friday afternoon, my entire office personnel and my husband went to eat at our favorite Thai Food restaurant. It was like any other normal day, except I wasn't leaving in my husbands truck. I was leaving in the back of an ambulance.

      This is for all of you work-a-holic Realtors out there and for anyone in any position where you just can't stop working. Stop. Take a break. This is my first time for this to happen and hopefully the last time as I have had to change my entire work schedule and how I do things entirely. We had paid our bill and were just talking about our responsibilities for the remainder of the day which were quite hefty. We are blessed with a busy brokerage. Suddenly the top of my head went numb. Then my face went numb and inside my head felt like someone had just plugged me in and it was electrically humming! Then the numbness went down my neck into my chest and arms then into my hands. I started feeling heavy like I couldn't hold myself up and keep my eyes open. My husband immediately called 911 as he is a Firefighter and Emergency Medical Technician. He knew I was about to go out.

     My co-workers immediately saw my color change, I slumped in my chair and my speech was slurred. One of my co-workers pulled my hair up using a chopstick. I didn't even know it at the time, I couldn't feel my head. By the time the ambulance got there, I didn't even know what was going on. Only during the ambulance ride to the hospital did I start to realize what was happening. It happened twice more at the hospital and it was a very scary feeling like I was about to lose consciousness. I couldn't shake the dizziness, nausea and numbness. They tested me for a stroke, heart attack, did a CT scan and every other test you can run. They kept me overnight to observe me to find out why this wasn't stopping or why I wasn't feeling any better. My vitals were normal and all my tests came out normal. I am perfectly healthy. So now is where I get the lesson of a lifetime.

     The Doctor came in and asked what my work week was like. Before I could even start talking, my phone started ringing, buzzing, and dinging with multiple texts and emails from clients and other business related issues. He asked if it was always like this. I said, "Yes. It's the life of a Realtor." He said, "No. That's where you're wrong. That's the life of a dead Realtor."

     Silence.

     After I explained that I work every day and haven't taken a real day off in two years and haven't taken a vacation in over 4 years, he simply shook his head and asked me if I wanted to live. I told him I thought I was living. He said, "You're going to die if you don't stop. Yesterday, your body told you it needs rest and to slow down. If you don't slow down, you're body will slow down for you and next time may not be so nice."

     I get it. I understand. I cried for what seemed like hours because at that moment, I realized I had been cheating my family of my time. And if I had kept on, I was cheating them of my life and my presence completely. For a work-a-holic, the only way of life that we know is to wake up thinking of work, to work all day and to go home and stay up on the computer working out ways to be ready for the next day and to get one step ahead. I realized that I haven't had a full nights sleep in over 4 years that hasn't been interrupted in some way. I've pushed my body to the absolute limit and I can't expect to continue this way.

     Today, I'm typing this during an Open House and I've had to reschedule three clients for Monday because I'm taking tomorrow off to be with my family. Because my family deserves ALL of my time. I had clients that I cannot show rental homes to them this evening because my husbands birthday party is tonight. They didn't like my answer and it was hard to tell them no because I don't want anyone to be upset with me. I have changed my voicemail to let people know when my days off are and that I won't be available. I have also set normal work hour parameters. I would usually get home around 8:30 at night. That is unacceptable. I'm wrapping up at 5 and headed home to hang out with my precious daughter. Life is simply too short to not focus on God, family and quality relaxation time. I still have a great work ethic, I just changed the rules. If this story has hit too close to home for you, take today to change your priorities and change your schedule. Set the right expectation for your clients and anyone else in your life that demands your time. Let them know when you start and stop accepting calls, emails and texts and if it's beyond your "end" time it will have to wait until tomorrow. Nothing is more important than your health and being able to be there for your family for years to come. I'm a new Realtor. A better Realtor. A healthier Realtor. It just took a big slap in the head to make me see it. Thanks for the reminder, God. Written by: Myka AllenJohnson Owner/Realtor StarPointe Realty Author: Tales From Sales: Hilarious, Outrageous and True Stories From Home Sales www.talesfromsalesmykajohnson.com forsalebymyka@yahoo.com 512-585-3703 cell

Lessons From Zig Ziglar's Granddaughter

“Do What You’re Doing Now To The Best Of Your Ability.”

Zig Ziglar’s Granddaughter, DeDe Galindo

April 24, 2013

 

                Today I was honored to meet a legend in the inspirational speaking industry.   She is DeDe Galindo, Zig Ziglar’s granddaughter.  What an inspiration and a positive influence.

                The last time I saw Zig Ziglar speak before he passed away was in 2008 in Dallas, Texas.  Previously, I had seen him speak and he was all over the stage!  Running from one end to the other…reaching out to people with unbridled enthusiasm.  He was mesmerizing!  This last time I saw him, he was helped to the stage by his daughter.  He sat in a chair for almost two hours answering questions from his daughter and the crowd.  Unbelievably, THIS time, was the most mesmerizing he has ever been.  I absorbed every word he spoke and remembered every story.  Two hours seemed like two minutes.  You could have heard a pin drop in the American Airlines Center.  He received a standing ovation for what seemed like several minutes.  I did not want it to end. 

                When I left, I was uplifted, inspired and determined to make my life and my career an inspiration to others.  I thought to myself, “How can such a small in stature man have the power to silence, inspire and bring tears to thousands?”

                The answer to that question was answered again today by his granddaughter, DeDe.  It was his purpose.  It was his purpose and his drive in life.  He had a genuine passion and love for helping others become better and he was a living testimony that it worked.  I realized when I left the American Airlines Center that day, that I had a purpose driven life and I was able to set goals that have helped me get to the place where I am today and I haven’t stopped climbing and setting resolves for bigger and better things.

                DeDe Galindo spoke today about following your purpose.  She tells us to have the “Right Mental Attitude.”  We should always be aware  of our surroundings.  Surround yourself with other purpose driven and positive people; listen to them and keep learning.

                Are you ready when you’re big break comes? Or when opportunities present themselves?  If you’re not, it can pass you by and you’ll never know it was there.  Overcome suffering and hard times.  Do not let it take over.  Get back up and find your purpose again.  Wherever you are right now, whatever you’re doing while you’re reading this blog…do what you’re doing right now to the best of your ability.  You’ve made decisions that have led you to this moment in time, right now.  Get up…do the best you can do right now and every day.  You will create beautiful opportunities for success when you do.

                What is your purpose right now in your life?

Written by:
Myka AllenJohnson
Author/Realtor/Brokerage Owner
Author: Tales From Sales: Outrageous, Hilarious and True Stories From Homes Sales
Realtor/Owner: StarPointe Realty in Killeen, Texas
forsalebymyka@yahoo.com
www.talesfromsalesmykajohnson.com
www.starpointeforthoodhomes.com

 

From left to Right:

VP of Women's Council of Realtors, Gloria Smith, DeDe Galindo and Myka AllenJohnson

Why I Look Like A Deranged Ninja 363 Days of The Year

Why I Look Like A Deranged Ninja 363 Days A Year

 

                I have a debilitating fear that keeps me from effectively showing homes to my wonderful clients in the Spring and Summer.  In Texas, it’s Spring and Summer all year with only two days of Winter.  So, I’m deemed officially, an anxiety ridden agent with the propensity to pass out at any given moment for 363 days of the year.  How, you may ask?  It all started when I was 4 years old in Houma, Louisiana.

 

                In the year 1978, I had the highest and worst fever I had ever had in my short little life.  I remember all of the events as if they were moments ago in my mind.  I was lying in my cute little bed, sick, coughing, burning up with fever.  Suddenly, I heard a noise in the hallway.  I looked over my toes, over the end of the bed and into the doorway.  Something about two feet tall, white and fuzzy leaned into the doorway and looked at me.  I was scared stiff!  It had no face but looked like a spider web cocoon that was two feet tall and about a foot wide. 

 

                It waddled into the doorway where I could fully see it.  It looked like the frosted side of a frosted mini wheat.  I know.  It’s stupid.  But I was scared to death!  Somehow, it climbed up the foot of my bed, crawled over my feet and stood on my legs rocking back and forth.  I was paralyzed with fear.  I couldn’t move, breathe or make a sound.  Suddenly, it lunged at me and ran up my body and attached itself to my face!! Like in the movie Alien and I was Sigourney Weaver!  I couldn’t breathe!  All I could see was white webbing and it was sticky like a spider web.  It was horrifying!

 

                After struggling for what seemed like an eternity, I finally was able to scream out to my mom.  When she came running in and sat by my side, it ran back down my body and out into the hall.  She hadn’t seen it of course.  I told her what had happened and she told me that I was hallucinating because of my fever.  But the damage was done.  I was forever deathly afraid of spider webs.  Not the spiders.  Just the spider webs. 

 

                Now, it still affects me the same way.  In Spring and Summer, I walk around completely terrified because webs are just floating on the wind everywhere!  If one wraps around me or touches me…I hit the ground, completely paralyzed!  My husband thinks it’s hilarious and just laughs and points at me while I’m lying on the ground wrapped in soft, completely non-harmful silk.  It’s my kryptonite.

 

                Sometimes I tell my clients and sometime I don’t.  Sometimes I have to tell my clients because as I’m walking around outside, I’ll duck, jump, run several feet around one, crawl on my knees to escape a floating web or simply lay down on the ground and wait for it to float past, all while whining and whimpering for it to please go away.  Only when my clients are staring at me thinking I’ve completely lost my mind, do I then have to tell them my stupid fear.  I look like a deranged ninja trying to steal a diamond that’s guarded by deadly lasers throughout the room.  Except not as cool and stealthy…and not in as good of shape. 

 

                What are you afraid of?

 

 

Written by:  Myka Allen Johnson

Published Author of Tales From Sales:  Hilarious, Outgrageous and True Stories From Home Sales

Owner/Realtor of StarPointe Realty in Killeen, Texas

Follow me on Twitter:  @StarPointeMyka

Like me on Facebook:  www.facebook.com/talesfromsales

"I just talked to my dead cat, MuMu."

 

"I Just Talked To My Dead Cat, MuMu."

 

      A few years ago I obtained an amazing listing that any Realtor would die to get their hands on!  They had met with nearly every Realtor in town and weirdly decided that they liked me.  (Not sure now if this is a compliment.)  We had a great first meeting.  We toured the home, had a great conversation that lasted for a couple of hours.  Somehow, we ended up talking about how much we loved our pets.  So I sat there and listened to the owner talk about her beloved cats.  Not a big deal, but it hadn't gotten weird yet.  We ended the meeting on a great note and agreed to meet the next week to take pictures of the home.

 

     The week dragged on.  I was so excited to get back out there and take pictures of the gorgeous home.  I was going to be the envy of every Realtor in town.  Upon entry, we immediately started talking again and of course the chatter began about the owner's cats.  She has one at her other house and her almost human like cat/child, "MuMu" had just passed away. 

 

     She was able to communicate through a choked voice, tears and puffed out bottom lip that MuMu was her son, her pride and joy and the reason she lived.  She didn't think she could go on.  And at this moment, she had to sit down, the grief was overwhelming.  Which meant, I had to sit down, put my hand awkwardly on her hand and tell it would be okay.  The conversation that came next is one I've never had with anyone.

 

     Me:  "Please don't be sad.  I'm a firm believer that our pets go to heaven.  He's in a better place now."

 

     Her:  "I know.  I just want him here."  She choked out. 

 

     Me:  "Well...(at loss for words) maybe you can get another cat."

 

     Her:  "Are you kidding?  MuMu is coming back.  I can't get another cat." She beligerantly yelled at me like I was an idiot.

 

     Me:  "Umm...what?  What do you mean?  Like Pet Sematary?" (That's how it's spelled in the movie.)

 

    Her:  "What?  Well...we buried him in the pet cemetary close to our home outside of town."

 

     Me:  "Oh yeah.  That's the one they're going to move and make room for a new subdivision." (Big mistake.)

 

     Her:  "WHAT???" she screamed and started wailing, crying and asking me to tell her that's not true.

 

    Me:  "W...w...w...well, maybe it's not true.  I...I..I'm not totally sure."

 

     Her:  "Well I hope not!  He said he was trying be happy where he was.  If we move him, he'll just freak out even more! 

 

     Me:  "Uhhh...what do you mean, 'he said' and 'he's coming back'?"  (I was really starting to think I would have to call the authorities.)

 

     Her:  "I just got back from Michigan for the second time.  I went to talk with a pet psychic.  I needed to speak with MuMu.  He can't live without me."

 

     Me:  (Thinking to myself...yeah, he's dead.  He definitely can't live.  What the heck is this about?)

 

     Her:  "The pet psychic couldn't find his spirit at first because alot of pets were trying to come through and talk to her. (Imagine me with a "is this a joke?" face.)  But then...then...my MuMu came through.  He told the pet psychic that he was scared where he was and that he needed time to adjust.  He needed exactly a year.  When it's been a year since MuMu's death, I should go to the pound and look for a cat that looks like MuMu (black and white) or has red hair.  Then he'll be reincarnated within the cat I choose and my MuMu will come back to me.  He'll come back!"  And she started to sob again.

 

     Me:  (Not believing this was even a real conversation.) "Well, there ya' go!  Proof positive all will be well.  Let me just get these last few pictures done." I got up slowly to take the rest of the photos and mainly to get away from the madness.

 

    

     So she layed her head on the table, exhausted from the sobbing and pain that she had to wait a year for her cat to be reincarnated.  I wandered around taking photos in surreal silence, only interrupted by an occasional murmur that whispered sadly, "Mumu." 

 

     I had so many questions.

 

     How does a cat communicate with a pet psychic?  Series of foot taps?  Tail swings?  Yowling once for yes and twice for no?  If I can't tell if my cat is constipated or hungry in the real world, how can a dead cat communicate reincarnation to a live human?  Then I found out she spent about five grand on the whole ordeal.  Suddenly...I think my cats are making more sense and if any of you doubt it, I'll prove it to you, for a small fee. 

 

     What do you think you're cat is saying to you?

 

Psychic:  "See..he's clearly thinking he needs more playtime from you in order to be happy."

 

Cat:  "I need to poop."